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Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I don't like...more

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? Thank you, steal again. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. I'm normally not a praying man, but if...more

Joe: For the last time, I'm pretty sure what's killing the crops is this Brawndo stuff. Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Attorney General: So wait a minute. What you're saying is that you want us to put water on the crops. Joe: Yes. Attorney General: Water. Like out the toilet? Joe: Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be out of the toilet, but, yeah, that's the idea. Secretary of State: But Brawndo's got what plants crave. Attorney General: It's got...more

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