Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…

Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? Thank you, steal again. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

1. D'oh.
2. I stand by my racial slur.
3. Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

• But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.
• Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?
• I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows. Homer no function beer well without.

I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.

How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!" Save me, Jeebus. D'oh. I was saying "Boo-urns." Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"